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Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

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Binge Fest [Aug. 25th, 2006 - 05:26 pm]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

[state of mind |crazycrazy]

The kids and I went to the Minnesota State Fair yesterday. The place where the Bingers turn out to show everyone else how it is done. The Fair prides itsself on how many food items they have on a stick.
I walked a ton but I also averaged two items of food an hours for the 11 hours we were out there. My numbers weren't too crazy until later in the evening when we had slowed down. The really good news, I only drank water at the fair.

I have been doing all right today. No binges. I hope you are all doing well.
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out-of-control control [Jul. 18th, 2006 - 06:06 pm]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

[state of mind |crankycranky]

I'm running out of Humalog insulin, since I've been using so much when I binge to try to cover the blood sugar rise. (Ha ha! It rarely works.) I only have two pens left to last me for 2.5-3 weeks, so I'm trying to behave myself and not eat many carbs.

Worst case scenario, I'll have to refill my prescription early and pay the full retail price because my insurance won't cover it. I wonder if I could get a free pen from my endo's office? Anyone ever been through this?
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i don't want to do this! [Jul. 17th, 2006 - 10:06 am]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

[state of mind |crappycrappy]

i hate blood sugars
i hate testing for them
i hate not eating what i want and like

i hate that every time i eat soemthing i "shouldn't" i tell myself that i'll get 'back on the wagon tomorrow' -- sound like any drunks you know? it sure does to me!!

i hate that food calls to me like a hooker on a street corner. and every time i hear it, i'm convinced i'll never get laid again if i don't take it NOW.

i also hate that this sounds so whiney. sorry.
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I Wonder ... [Jul. 16th, 2006 - 02:51 am]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

[state of mind |nervousuneasy]

I wonder if there's any correlation between personality type and the development of this disorder.  Anyone want to take the test and post their results so we can see?

You Are An INFP
The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.
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I Need to Be Here [Jul. 16th, 2006 - 02:26 am]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

This community is a good reminder that I HAVE A PROBLEM!!

My blood sugar's all out of whack again.  Posting here gives me incentive to do well so I can report back that I went binge-free for a day.  I wish I could do that tonight, but I'd be lying.  We have a friend who just moved to town, and he's been baking for us.  Need I say more?

I'll try to stay in the habit of hanging out here so I can stay grounded.  Is anyone else finding that the community is helpful to their success at controlling binging?
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Food Sneaking [Jul. 2nd, 2006 - 12:32 am]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

I have been sneaking food.  The weird thing is that I don't need to.  I buy the food for the family.  I cook the food for the family.  I am in charge of the food.  I decide what happens to it.    Yet I find lately that I am staying up into the wee hours so that I can have more food without having to share.  Sometimes it is extended grazing, sometimes it is a real snarfing binge.  Then I am tired in the morning and my mental strength is sapped and I do what is easy and not what is good for me.

Sometimes I buy myself a special treat.  I usually don't show that because I didn't get enough for everyone.   The other day I went to pick up some vietnamese take out food and stopped by KFC for the kids before getting the good stuff for my husband and I.   I ordered a small coleslaw and ate it in the car before going home and hid the container.  Why?!  No one but me even likes coleslaw. 
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Meals that actually END [Jun. 28th, 2006 - 10:21 am]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

[state of mind |distresseddistressed]

hi -
i'm having trouble in the last week or so with ENDING my meals. once i start eating, i just continue and continue. not even with junk food, necessarily, but i just don't want to stop. i can't seem to stop eating. i can go along for many hours iwthout eating, but once i start, man, it's been trouble. not so much a binge, i'm not stuffing my face rapidly, but it's more of a long graze.
if anyone else has issues about this, or better yet, ways to cope, please let me know.
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Why does the bad for you stuff taste so good? [Jun. 24th, 2006 - 05:17 am]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

[state of mind |moodymoody]
[tunes |the birds that wake up too early.]

I have been carb loading again. The only foods I want are starchy or fruit. Ou know, like several rolls and a whole melon. Of course this is the fruit season. Then again, it is veggie season too, and I don't seem to be craving those as much.

Portion control is my biggest problem this week. Now that my monthly cycle is over the depression is under control fairly well. I am not eating out of depression, I am just eating.

Yesterday I had been doing very well food wise due in part to feeling sick. Then after watching a friends' band perform we went out to an all night breakfast place. Feeling better, I shared a Tex mex omlette with the husband. It sent my levels skyrocketing. I was up every two hours to drink and use the bathroom. I had forgotten what the symptoms were realy like.

I can usually tell at night if my numbers are high by how thirsty I am. I was well into the 200's most of the night. Uggh. I have been really bad about taking my meds as well. I don't mean to be, I just forget.
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I'm On a Leave of Absence [Jun. 19th, 2006 - 10:21 pm]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

I probably won't be around for awhile because of a sick spouse.  I hope everyone will keep posting and supporting each other in my absence.

Be well,
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remind me to not do that again!! [Jun. 16th, 2006 - 09:25 am]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE

[state of mind |contemplativecontemplative]

well, yesterday i saw my dietician for the first time in what feels like 100 years. it's probably only 10 years. in any event, we met for an hour, and i was reminded yet again of how painful and emotionally difficult it is to talk about my food and my food habits -- i can't even begin to tell you how tough!!

then, 90 minutes later, i saw my therapist for our regularly scheduled appt. -- and continued the discussion around food-stuffs. needless to say, today i feel bruised all over, emotionally. not because they were nasty or mean to me, but because of hearing and acknowledging so many unpalatable truths. no pun intended.

by the time i got to therapy, i started the session with this comment: "i would rather have sex wtih a total stranger -- in public -- than talk about my food with anyone."

let's just say she wrote that one down as one of lthe more insightful and vehement lines she's heard in her 20 years as a therapist. but i swear it's true!

after some discussion of how food is a best friend for me, etc. i realized that it is much more than that.
food is my secret lover. the thing that fills up, or rather, TRIES to fill up, the heart-hungry part of me.

of course, it fails. because food is fuel for the body, not for the hungry heart. love and acceptance and joy and music fill up the hungry heart, or at least make a good attempt. the rest is filled iwth The Divine. Awareness of The Divine, around me and in me.

it's all very well and good to say that here, but the truth is, when i'm sitting there and the cookies -- or whatever -- are calling to me _ as a friend of mine once said, "calling to me like a hooker on a street corner: Hey honey, c'mere i've got something for YOU" - it's very tough to hear the Divine. And hearing that Divine is the only thing that is going to save my life, now that my body has decided it is not going to put up iwth my food abuse anymore.

xposted to diabetic bingers -- sorry, i don't know how to make it a link.
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