|I Hate Food
||[Nov. 7th, 2006 - 02:34 pm]
Diabetics with Binge Eating Disorder or COE
well, i also *love* food. way too much, it seems.|
met with my nutritionist yesterday, and as usual, it was a very difficult situation. i hate talking about food, i hate admiting all that i truly eat, i hate examining my feelings around eating and the emotional food triggers i have, and most of all i Really Hate cutting back on my food.
the discussion went something like this:
me: having to cut down on my food is NOT FAIR.
Me, in response: that's true, however, the concept of 'fair' has no place in this discussion.
me: i have cut out enough substances from my daily life (booze, cigarettes, drugs, etc), and i'm Done cutting them out.
Me, in response: if that were true, my body wouldn't be complaining as loudly as it is.
me: i Don't Want To!!!
Me, in response: i know. you don't have to want to. you just have to do it.
(sounds alot like a newcomer to AA, doesn't it?)
unfortunately, this is alot harder than stopping drinking ever was!!!
so here i am at the lowest weight i've been at in over 7 years, and my blood sugars are going sky high. (as in 220-340) WHY?? no clue. and that's just the nature of the beast; sometimes the blood sugar goes wild and there is no obvious cause.
i spoke w/ my doc last nite and she said that we just have to up my insulin; so i did this morning; we'll see what happens. :::sigh:::
so i'm renewing my efforts at food control in the hopes of losing more weight. she even said, err, the nutritionist said, that it was perfectly reasonable to tell my kids that we won't be having sweets in the house for the foreseeable future, since it is very hard for me to be around them and not eat them. (?????!!?!?!?!?) i'm not sure i believe that it's ok to do that, any input?
anyway . .. . more later.